yomommaboyfriend:

just-shower-thoughts:

If Goldilocks tried three beds, then Momma Bear and Daddy Bear slept seperately. Baby Bear is probably the only thing keeping the family together.

You ain’t have to put those people business out like that.

Okay, and not sleeping together means nothing. Joe works thirds. We almost never sleep together. My parents haven’t slept in the same bed in years because they both snore something awful. They still make out in the kitchen all the time. They still love each other just as much. My dad still  calls her his bride when he shares cute pictures of their dates.  Sleeping together is not the end-all be-all of a relationship.

(via zetagaymer)

Am I still therealvern? Good. It’s been ages since I’ve been here. Saw some shit on facebook about how can you love someone else if you don’t love youself? Joke’s on you shit bag, Joe and I hate ourselves but love each other :p  

m-to-the-6th-power:

runofthemillsocialist:

sapphicscaly:

autisticsamusaran:

sapphicscaly:

fallout4kin:

lizardexposer:

unstabledragon:

lizardexposer:

thirtythreethirtyfive:

lizardexposer:

runofthemillsocialist:

bibliotheksbewohnerin:

things that still freak me out: those sinks americans have in their kitchens that you can destroy stuff with

Honestly this post has been on my mind all day. Those weird destructosinks for people with too much money are apparently common in America. And Americans get defensive over them.

Well don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink.

hOLY SHIT WHAT IF U TRY AND CLEAN THE PLUG AND TURN IT ON IM SO SCARED

Okay it took me for-fucking-ever to figure out wtf you guys are talking about are you talking about garbage disposals?
Like down the drain??

with the spinny knives

No knives, just a dull piece of spinny metal.

you realise it takes the same amount of force to cut thru a carrot as a finger

i dont know what you do over there but we usually don’t stick our hands in our sink drains

who’s going around fisting sinks anyway

“don’t come crying to me when your wean gets eaten by the fucking kitchen sink”

is that person saying they fuck kitchen sinks? is that what I just read? they put their dick in the sink’s drain and they fuck it?

dont sinkshame

Child. Wean means child.

Okay, so you put your CHILD in a sink and stuff them down the drain? That’s… that’s definitely worse.

God I wish I had a garbage disposal. All they do is chop up food so it doesn’t clog your pipes up.  Instead I am constantly worried about accidentally letting food down the drain. I wish I didn’t have to worry :p

(via dreamychantelle)

higgzorz:

ssj8goku:

i’m gonna watch this stupid fucking conspiracy theory documentary until i fall asleep

how you gonna fall asleep when youre getting woken up

More like how am I gonna fall asleep when I keep getting pissed because I’m using basic critical thinking and logic 

(via dreamychantelle)

ravenbranwenn:

princeackerman:

sweetapplestrider:

-random applause that eventually encompasses the entire cafeteria
-skipping classes to go to your friend’s lunch periods
-”come with me i dont wanna go alone”
-not knowing who you’re singing happy birthday for
-“hey if i pay you will you go through the line and get me something”
-knowing your id number so you can actually eat
-only wearing your id during lunch period
-that ONE security guard
-”what’s even for lunch today”
-HOLY FUCK IT’S CHICKEN NUGGET DAY
-those girls who chill in the bathroom doing their makeup
-fights = dinner AND a show
-”hey what lunch do you have this year” “b” “damn i’m in c”

Are you telling me your school didn’t just have lunch for everyone at a specific time and instead you were broken into sections

sometimes your school has 4000 kids

man. city vs, small rural high school. we didn’t have separate lunch times OR a security guard

(via dreamychantelle)